It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
