I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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