fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
