Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We don't watch enough power rangers
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
