I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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