so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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