Can i not drive my cunt home
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
