Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
