I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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