you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
