I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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