im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
