Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
