there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
