yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
