That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
