You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
