Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
