oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
