Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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