Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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