I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize