I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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