I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
