Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
