This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
