Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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