Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
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