You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
