I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm just crazy horny about you
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
