Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
