A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
