he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
