There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
