the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
