hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
