I seem to have left my pride at pride
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
