Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
