Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
