Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
