My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
