Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
