Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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