Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
