I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
