A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
