I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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