You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
