dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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