on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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