maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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