Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
