To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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